


Cerulean Hearts and Plastic Smiles

by ComfySkeleton



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Any jokes that offend you I'm sorry, Butts pie, Doctor Who References, Flowey's a bag of dicks, Frisky frisk has eyebrow wiggles, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I don't know how to write stories lol, I'm so sorry for all these memes, Idubbz references, Lol punns, Mettaton's legs, Otaku frens, PUN ALERT, Probably filthy frank too, Sans is a punny guy, Who drinks Ketchup?, Why is this still a thing?, Why you crushin' on a skeleton?, what am I doing with my life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-10-05 06:26:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10299644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComfySkeleton/pseuds/ComfySkeleton
Summary: You've lived in the same town for years and even after the monsters reached the surface. Your life became a little less hectic once you met a certain skeleton who has a pun problem and a habit of chugging ketchup.





	1. A bit cold. Snow joke, kiddo.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm re-writing this from my wattpad story under the same title. My name on wattpad is "FlourtheChimera". It is un-finished and I wanted to re-write it so it isn't as edgy as it was. Hope you like it so far. I'll try to update every week or so Once I can assemble a schedule I can use I'll post it in the summary.

The wind struggled to pull your thick, cotton hood off of the comfort of your hair as you stumbled through the fluffy lumps of fresh-fallen snow. Your boots crunched against the ice coating the side walk in batches that resembled lichens and mosses. You sneezed into the sleeve of your (F/C) hoodie, gently rubbing your cheeks and face to find any source of warmth to soothe the chilled skin. You listened to music on your phone, in a useless attempt to shield your mind from thoughts of the snow seeping into your sock. 

 

You looked up from the comfort of your knitted replica of the 4th Doctor's Scarf from Doctor who to gaze longingly at the bright orange lights of your favorite pub. Grillby's was practically radiating warmth as you curled your gloved fingers around the frozen metal doorknob and yanked it open, only to be welcomed by the scent of grease and charcoal. You let your hood fly off with the gust of comforting scents and numerous greetings were spoken up. 

 

You smile and wave at the monsters sitting at booths and tables. Wiping your boots on the rough doormat, you stride over to your usual seat near where the flaming bartender was polishing a glass. Slipping your gloves into your pocket, you glance up at the bartender and he furrows his eyebrows (somehow) and speaks to you softly, his voice resembling the crackles and pops of a fireplace. "Same as usual, (y/n)?" You chuckle and nod thinking up a quick play of words, "Sure thing, 'hottie'." You heard the fiery element sigh and chuckle to himself as he strolled towards the kitchen. 

 

You rested your head in your arms, inhaling the scent of grease and fried foods, your stomach growling eagerly and you sigh. warming up your chilled jacket and rosy cheeks. You hear someone walk up closer to you and the monsters playing cards, and enjoying each others company start spilling out greetings of all sorts. "Heya Sansy!" "What's up Sans?" "Any more puns lately?" "Yo Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaans!!!" 

 

You smirk to yourself and glance up and whoever they are referring to. Your eyes widen a bit and you raise a brow as a skeleton of sorts walks towards the counter where you're sitting. You smile a bit and think up a few puns for this situation you're getting yourself into. 

 

"A skeleton huh? Never thought I'd have a 'Bone-afide' chance like this one." You say, directing it to this new character. He looks at you and chuckles holding his phalanges out towards you in a friendly gesture. You grasp his hand gently, slightly anxious at the thought of shaking a skeleton's hand. You couldn't help but grin like an idiot and turn his hand of sorts around and observe every scratch and general placing of the bones. He kind of raised a brow bone (?) and chuckled awkwardly. "Enjoying yourself there, kiddo?" 

 

You blushed a bit and let go of his hand, muttering several apologies. "Sorry about that. I just think you look really cool! I-I didn't mean to weird you out, haha..." you laugh nervously. He waves a hand at you dismissively and his grin appears onto his skull once more. "Nah, it's alright. I know I'm pretty cool. So cool, I might even chill you to the 'bone'" He pointed a 'finger-gun' at you and laughed. You laughed as well snorting and slapping your knee in the process. You could already tell that you would become great friends with this guy.


	2. Whoopee! A skele-ton more words and puns!

You chuckled to another one of the funny skeleton's puns and offered him a seat next to you. He smiled and tipped his imaginary fedora. "Why thank you, m'lady." Your grin widened if that's even possible at all and your excitement was nearly boiling over as you executed your expertly planned out prank. The skeleton plops himself onto the shiny red leather of the seat and a low, slightly muffled fart sound erupted. In a moment of his shock, the stout skeleton moved his leg to the side as the sound grew to a loud, air piercing noise.

Every tenant in the cozy little pub ceased their conversations as the sound interrupted what seemed like the very atmosphere of the tavern. All eyes were on Sans as you erupted with laughter. His cheek bones were dusted a cerulean hue as customers joined in with your laughter, praising you for the skit.

 

Sans joined in soon after, a low and hearty laugh emitting from his rib cage and ringing out of his parted teeth. "Wow, kiddo. Never thought someone would pull my own prank on me. Nice of you to 'release' all that laughter." He wipes an imaginary tear away from his eye socket as he sighs delightfully. "Glad to know someone 'gas' the same interests as me!" you say, the laughter of the tavern dying down a little.

 

A warm glow glides closer to you as a plate slides close to you only to stop in front of your hungry self. Your stomach growls and you quickly spin around and pick up your delectable dish. As you sink your teeth into the juicy burger, a bottle of ketchup slides over to Sans. You chew slowly as you raise a brow. Sans picket up the bottle after telling Grillby thank you and to put it on his tab. He chugged the bottle of ketchup. CHUGGED. 

 

It's not that you were surprised by this action as you have caught yourself eating Jam or any other sweet substance usually spread on bread. You felt like it may not be the most normal or average thing to do when no one is around, but you were at peace with it. What you were surprised with was the fact that someone else did a similar thing to you, as well as why it wasn't leaking out of his rib cage or dripping off his jaw for that matter.

 

He slammed the pastel red plastic container on the counter and wiped away a drop of ketchup near his teeth on his sleeve. He sighed in satisfaction as he turned his head towards you to see what you were looking at. He caught you gazing at him and chuckled a bit. "See somethin' ya like?" You nearly choked on the last bite of your burger as you attempted to recover from it. He pat you on the back firmly to try and help you. Grillby quickly sent a glass of (F/d) your way. You caught it and chugged it quickly, slamming the empty glass on the counter with a firm hand. You cough a bit and then start laughing. Your laughter quickly turns into snorts and giggle as you looked back up at the skeleton.

 

He chuckled a bit and hit your shoulder playfully."Jeez kiddo, didn't know you 'choked' up so easily." You hit him back with the same force, being careful not to hurt him. "Hey, I wan't choking up. Plus, you're one to talk. Aren't skeleton's dead?" He grinned and snorted in an attempt to laugh. "Only on the inside. Maybe the outside too." He chuckled again.

 

After some time of talking and spitting puns towards each other, you two Walked out of the lovely pub, only to be greeted with an idle scene. The snow had been flaking off of the clouds. a few danced around your eyelashes and in the evaporated breath of yours. It was 'breath-taking'.

 

Sans looked down to you. (He was at least a few inches taller. You were kinda short for your age) "Hey uh.... can I see your hand...?" You raised a brow and held it out to him. He took it in his and shoved a messily, folded napkin into your palm, closing it and that cerulean hue dusted his cheekbones once more.

 

Scratching the back of his neck vertebrae, he exhaled, the evaporation dancing near your locks of hair. "I was wondering if we could hang out again some time. I think you're pretty cool. It's uh... It's okay if you don't want to I me-" You cut him off with a quick embrace. you hugged him and then let go, quickly smiling and laughing nervously trying to cover up your embarrassment. "Of course I'd like to hang out with you again! I think you're cool too!"

 

You mumbled several apologies and Sans chuckled, genuinely smiling. It wasn't a stupid grin caused by one of your puns. He seemed genuinely relieved. Each laugh vibrated his ribs and bones against each other with the baritone sound. You smiled too, and scribbled your number down for him. You took his hand and pushed it into his boney palm. "haha, here. Just in case I lose your number."

 

To be honest, his laugh sounded nice. It was actually music to your ears. minus all the band and orchestra puns that quickly flooded your thoughts. 'It's best to save that for another time.' you thought. You say your goodbyes and you walk the opposite way of him, heading home. He waves a dismissive hand at you and you look back to your regular walking path. 

 

As soon as you glance back hoping to see him tripping over snow and ice in his fluffy pink slippers, all that's there to meet you is traces of blue mist. You shrug and keep walking home, hoping to have some more puns ready for the next time you see your new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments and be sure to bookmark this, broski. I have a feeling this story will be pretty cool. Also, I will be writing longer chapters, it's just that sitting in one place and writing non-stop kinda kills my imagination. Thank you for the kudos too, I really appreciate it.


	3. rain drop, drop top. Napoleon, gimme yer tot-tots. . .

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Not everyone uses memes and horrible jokes to cover up depression like you and I, my friend."
> 
> (lol don't remember where I read that sorry)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while. My allergies have been kicking my ass and we almost ran outta ramen. I kinda panicked. I typed most of this during class lol

"Somebody once told me  
That I could make some money by bullying some people online  
So I grew a gnome goatee and put on a stupid beanie  
And started making up some dank lies"

 

"ugh..." you groaned as your alarm went off, your phone vibrating on your nightstand. Your obnoxiously beautiful alarm continued to increase in volume, soon turning into a very obnoxious headache. "oh my god, SHUT UUUUUUUP!!!" You yelled at your phone. You didn't know why. It didn't exactly have a conscience. 

 

You didn't care.

 

It was too early for this shit.

 

You tossed your pillow at the phone. It flung towards your wall and thankfully crashed to the ground in your heap of extra blankets.

 

Yawning, you woke up a bit more, sitting up straight in bed in an attempt to readjust to what was going on. 'Oh yeah... Didn't sans wanna hang out with me...???'

 

You laid in bed a bit longer, thinking about that one thought.

 

"holy mOTHER OF SEVEN COWS, FUCK!"

 

You flung the blankets off of your bed and slipped on some leggings with an intricate monochrome pattern as well as a white T-shirt with black trimming and bright bold letters saying, "Vote for Pedro"

 

"Napoleon, gimme yer tot-tots!!!!" Your phone went off. Wait... that was the ringtone you set for your new friend. You stumbled and tripped your way over to your phone hidden in the heap of blankets. You fished out your phone quickly and answered. Although, you had kinda sorta stepped on a sharp object hidden under the edge of one of the blankets and yelled out the first thing that came to mind. "OH FUCKING FUCK A DUCK"

 

You slapped a hand over your mouth quickly as you realized your finger had already swiped across the screen to answer the call. Your face was now flushed a rosy color.

 

"Uh.....(y/n). . .? I didn't take you for such a salty sailor... You okay?" Sans asked, worry nipping at the edge of his words.

 

"Oh my god, Sans! I'm so sorry! I just stepped on this thing an-" He laughed like it was the funniest thing he's heard in years, interrupting you.

 

"Kid, it's fine. I understand. No need to say any more. Hey, what's your address? I can come and pick you up if you want." You raised a brow and spaced out a bit before quickly telling him your address. You said bye and such and went back to hunting for your socks.

 

Moments later you heard a knock on your door, you slipped on one sock and quickly ran out of the hallway to get to the door. You twist the brass knob and swing it open. Sans is standing outside with his usual grin on his face. "How the hell did you get here that fast? It's impossible. I just got off the phone with you a minute ago." He chuckles nervously and winks, attempting to cover up the facts. 

 

"I know my shortcuts, kiddo." You were a bit suspicious but decided to brush it off. You shake your head as well as that thought away and you open the door wider."You gonna come in, or stand around outside.?"

 

"Sure. I'll come in. 'A-door-ble' of you to ask, Sweetheart." He jokingly winks at you in what seemed to be an attempt at being flirtatious. "Oh just get in here, loverboy." You drag him in by his sleeve and he stumbles along trying to not fall over or trip in any way. You point towards the couch abruptly. He smiles wider and plops down on the black couch, sprawling out and sighing in relief. "Aw yeah, sweet couch dude. 'Sofa-r" this idea of hanging out together is pretty chill" You smile and roll your eyes at him. "Nice pun, Dingus Khan. I'm gonna go back to my room to find my other sock as well as some other things I need. I'll be back in a second."

 

You stride past him heading to your room down the hallway and you hear Sans scoff at you. "Dingus Khan? Really? Well, I guess that makes you a George Dorkington." You laugh. "Yeah yeah, whatever weirdo." 

 

You swing into your room and close the door behind you. You find your sock hidden behind another pair in your drawer and you slipped it on, smiling at the pair you've set for today. One had a Dalek on it with red words saying "EX-TER-MIN-ATE" And the other had a Cyberman with the bolded black word, "UPGRADE" 

 

It seemed like a lovely pair. A little can of hate and a futuristic robot keeping up with trends. You had a nice taste in socks.

 

You slip on a pair of black sandals, showing off a bit of your super-cool socks for all possible whovians to see. Walking into Sans' view he chuckles at your socks. "Just 'Who' do you think you are? You can't put a can and a robot together. There won't be a 'spark' between them."

 

You facepalmed. His jokes were clever and made you laugh, but... sometimes they were just... bad.

 

"And what makes you think they won't get along? Last i checked, you were a normie." You crossed our arms and smirked. This kid is asking for me to whip out some memes...

 

"yoU WOT M8?????" He purposely voice cracked, sounding like a 12 year old raging over minecraft in a skype call. He jumped up off the couch and landed on his feet in a squatting position. And proceeded to quote Idubbz and his popular meme. "I'm gay" He lost balance and fell over, his back landing on the couch and you both burst out laughing. You even slapped your knee a few times.

 

You wiped an imaginary tear from your left eye, sighing. "Whew! That was pure gold right there, broski." Sans nodded and grinned in return. "Yeah. That was pretty 'rich'"

 

You sit down on the couch next to him and grabbed the Xbox controller from the coffee table in front of you, turning your console on. Have you ever played and Elder Scroll games before?" You ask, tilting your head towards him in a questioning manner.

 

"Are you kiddin' me? I love those games! Morrowind and Oblivion were really awesome. Skyrim is legit the coolest though." Sans chortled in response.

 

You tossed an extra remote to him, a standard black one and he nodded in a thankful way. "Now... What about Rocket League?" You pryed, hoping he was a gamer.

 

"Oh my gods... you're challenging me aren't you? Well, I hope you're prepared to get dunked on, cause Dunkle Sans is gonna show you how to game." His grin faded into a shit-eating smirk and the background music of rocket league began to play. You leaned forward in a prepared position to sincerely show this skeleton what gaming really was.

 

"Fite me boi." You challenged.

 

And he accepted it, sticking his bright cerulean tongue out, mockingly.

 

Oh boi.... You asked for it....


	4. Who the hell is Cj??? @~@?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by my friend Kenzie. She's a cool munchkin. UvU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh, Yeah I know I was gone. I'm sorry. I've been kinda super depressed due to some events in my life. But! Thanks to a ton of anime and manga, I'm back to a moderately okay kind of level! My buddy Melas kinda had some stuff going on so I did my best to comfort them. Please just go check them out because they honestly are amazing. Like, I have no words.
> 
> Anyways, ONTO THE STORY!!

Screams of anguish and despair erupted from the small livingroom, echoing down the dark hallway. Growls and screeches as well as the sound of bone on a hardwood floor was what filled up the emptiness.

 

You couldn't let this bone daddy win.

 

He needs to pay for what he's done.

 

"SANS HOW DARE YOU DEFY ME!!!!" You jumped up on the couch for height. He just laughs and snorts at this. You were kind of like a tiny kitten trying to be big and scary like some sort of bear. It was cute, he thought.

"Never took you for a 'short' tempered woman, y/n. You should probably catch up to my level." He snorted into his sleeve tears brimming at his eye sockets. This was the funniest shit in his life.

You screeched and completely went red, not having a comeback. You begin button mashing and grunting out of frustration. "I will win. I WILL WIN. FIT ME HELEN!!!"

 

You could almost see it all in slow motion. His eye flared up and he levatated you into the air and twirled you around before winning. Oh boy... He's gonna get it.

 

"you...yOU CHEATER!!!!" You yelled some curse words before his bony hand was muffling your screeches. Due to being upside down for a while now, your face was red.

 

"Shhh,shhh... It was for the best. You deserved it after what you called me. Freaking fruit loop." He chuckled and moved you closer.

 

You sighed and glared at him playfully. "Well, you did challenge me. Dingus." 

 

He rolls his eyes and smiles. "Yeah yeah, whatever... Midget."

 

Before you could scream and bite him or something, his bright blue tongue lopped out of his mouth and he licked your cheek all the way to your neck and the saliva just dripped off of you.

 

"ew eW EWEWEWEWEWEWGETITOFFFF!!!!" You screamed, almost inaudibly. He took the edge of his sleeve and wiped it off, dissipating it as a blue mist.

 

"hmmpf." You pout as he put you back down, sitting on the floor next to him.

 

The silence was almost deafening.

"So uh... are you dating anybody?" He asked, his voice shaking a bit. Was he nervous?

 

"Nope. Why do ya ask? Are you interested?~" You grin in a joking manner and put up finger guns.

 

"Psh, nah. You're too weird for me. Plus, I'm a lazy skeleton. I don't have a heart for you to steal." He chuckled, a cerulean color dusted his cheeks.

 

"Are you okay? You're cheeks are kinda... colored." You move closer and the color expands to nearly his whole skull. 

"U-Uhm... It's uh.... me blushing...." He mumbled the last part but you still caught it, giggling lightly. You place your hands on the side of his skull and bring him closer. examining him.

 

"You know, I've never had a chance like this. Do you mind if I look at you...?" You ask timidly, not wanting to upset him.

 

"I-I d-don't mind at all, k-kid... just be careful, okay?" He stuttered, pulling at the collar of his shirt. He looked to the side to avoid eye contact.

 

You pat him on the head before lifting his chin to look at his vertebrae. Your fingers traced every small scratch and bump in his structure. Then you stopped to think.

 

"Wait..."

 

"How in the hell do you EAT?" You exclaimed, yanking his shirt up and looking at what was under it. He was completely bone. How the hell even...?

 

He quickly pulled his shirt down, his entire skull a bright blue. "Well then, that's enough of looking for you. It's kinda rude to stare, kiddo."

 

You kinda pout but ask him again, " How the hell do you eat? Do you just have a bag to catch food or something???"

 

He chuckled at your behavior and calmed down a bit. "Mmmmmmagic~~~~" He just wiggles his fingers and grins.

 

That just leaves you sitting there wondering all the possibilities.

 

A knock at the door interrupted your thoughts.

 

"SANS??? ARE YOU HERE WITH THE HUMAN YOU TOLD ME ABOUT???"

 

Sans looked toward the door raising a brow bone. "Papyrus...?"


	5. Oh boi, the fam is here! (Who tf is cj???)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda have been procrastinating on this.... sorry. Been givin' my attention to my lovelie Junie. She's such a sweetheart. ^//v//^
> 
>  
> 
> OOOOONTO LE STOREH!!!!! >3<~~~

You turned your body towards the sound as Sans pattered over to the door. He twisted the brass knob and pulled it open only to reveal a tall skeleton wearing white armor and yellow trim with bright red boots and gloves. He was also wearing some questionable choice of pants. A speedo or shorts maybe?

 

All you know is that they were blue.

 

Your eyes widened. He.... He was h u g e...

 

He was maybe around 6 1/2 to 7 feet tall. Well.. uh... to the poin where he had to duck his head to walk in the doorway. He slipped his boots off and turned to me.

 

"AH! SANS, IS THIS THE REALLY CUTE HUMAN YOU TALKED ABOUT?" The skeleton's voice boomed. Wait, did he just say cu-

Sans slapped his hand over Papyrus' teeth, his sounds of concern mumbled as Sans face lit up a bright cerulean.

 

"Uh... hehe... I'll just be a minute..." Sans laughed out nervously. He dragged his beanstalk of a brother to the next room and closed the door.

 

You shrugged. Siblings are weird. 

 

"U-Uh... hello? May I come in...?" A voice asked from the doorway. You speak up from where you are on the couch.

 

"Yeah! You can come in! Just take your shoes off." You looked up to see a tall (not as tall as Papy dearest, but still taller than your shrimpy self.) girl walk in and shudder due to the cold breeze that follows her inside the house. She closes the door, the wind pulling it with a slam and you flinch a bit.

 

"H-Hey, my name's CJ. Cadence Jane. I'm Papy's friend. You must be the girl Sans talks about all the time. 

You nod and get up, taking her coat that's drenched in now melting snowflakes. "Yeah. The name's y/n. 'ice' to meet'cha." you hold out a hand and she grasps yours shaking it firmly and giggling at the pun.

 

"Nice one. You sound just like Sans. No wonder he talks so highly of you. If you ask me..." She paused and wiggled her eyebrows, "I think that skeleton likes you a skele-TON." 

 

You laugh and shake your head. "No way. Look at me. I'm tiny, and weird. Plus, it's obvious he's friendzoned me. I dunno if I wanna date anyone yet either."

 

She rolls her eyes playfully and steps out of her snowboots. she slips off her hat and shakes the snowflakes off her brown hair. You stare at her head and she smiles.

 

There were fox ears on her head.

 

Are they real?????

 

You point them out and ask her, her bright green eyes seem to glimmer in enthusiasm. Before you can even speak she nods and wiggles them.

 

Hoooooly shit. 

 

She's a fox girl.

 

"What exactly are you? Human or monster?" You ask, inviting her to sit down as you walk to the kitchen to make some tea and cocoa.

 

"Neither. I'm actually from an entirely different universe. Only Sans knows that though. Papy just thinks I've been here. Oh! And cocoa please."

 

Universe???

 

Man, this is weird. You thought this stuff only happened in those RPG videogames that may or may not be in this fourth wall break.

 

'Woah! This is a fourth wall break?' you may ask.

 

Yes

Yes it is.

 

\-----Time Skip: Brought to you by bad puns------

 

You two just sat casually sipping your hot beverages to shake off the chill of winter air.

 

Did I mention you two were talking about universes and such?

 

Well, you were.

 

You heard the door of the other room unlock and Sans peeked out to see you two discussing the topic. Papyrus laid his heavy skeletal hand plop onto his brother's shoulder and whispered near his ear. "You really love her don't you...?"

 

Sans nodded and that familiar cerulean hue dusted his cheekbones.

 

"Yeah... I really do, bro..."

 

A chill ran down Sans' spine as he felt his brothers presence move away. A more dark and foreboding aura replacing it.

 

A childish giggle emitted from the being as it spoke.

 

"Ahuhuhu~ Sans you scoundrel... Had no idea I was listenin' huh?"

 

Sans literally jumped at least three or four full feet in the air screaming like a little girl and teleporting into your arms, spilling the tea all over the couch.

 

"AHHHHHHHHOLYFUCKINGSHITDON'TKILLME!!!!!!!" Sans screeched. 

 

And you thought you were the one with the female parts.

 

You look over to realize CJ wasn't even there for a while as you were rambling to yourself about that whole universe talk. 

 

This fox girl is smooth.

 

She was doubled over and laughing her heart out with Papyrus. Occasionally pointing and laughing at the still terrified/borderline about to stab a bitch Sans.

 

You think it's nice. And for some reason you decide to be a bit ballsy and pulls Sans into a hug. Your heart pounds quicker as you hug him, he tenses up not knowing what to do.

 

Though he's scared... He snakes his boney arms around your waist. His face still dusted cerulean. 

 

'He kinda smells sweet... like candy or somethin'' you think to yourself.

 

As creepy as sniffing your 'totally not obvious' skeleton crush is, He's inhaling the smell of your hoodie, too.

 

Y'know... Maybe what CJ said wasn't so crazy and out of reach...


	6. An Author's Note

Hey, uh... yeah. I know. I was gone for a long time. Sorry to keep you all waiting haha

Been hella depressed and such. Family problems. The stress of moving out and finding the money for it is kinda really getting to me. Sorry to keep all you guys waiting. I'll try to upload as often as my little fingers can type.


End file.
